It's a Bunky

I was suddenly yanked out into brightness--pulled up by my feet and slapped on my behind!

“It’s a Bunky!” someone exclaimed.

I was a “Bunky.”  Here a “Bunky,” there a “Bunky,” everywhere a “Bunky.”  I crawled around the floor as a “Bunky”—rode through the town in a baby-buggy as a “Bunky.”  I couldn’t understand the words people around me said, but I knew what they were saying.

“What’s his name?”


“What a cute Bunky.”

Then one day, sometime after I started walking, instead of wasting my precious pee in my froggy potty, I decided to make good use of it by pleasing my mother and watering the flower pot in the living room.  That evening my mother said to my father, “Bunky peed on my potted petunias, today.”

He smiled and said, “I guess you could call that potted potty training.”

The next day I watered the flowers again.  My mother saw it.  I thought she would be proud of me, but she turned red and shouted, “ROBERT!  That flower pot is not your froggy potty!  I showed you where to pee!  You know where to pee!”

I was immediately dragged away from the flowers and slammed down on top of my froggy potty.  "Here!  In your froggy, Robert!  Not there," she raged, "Here!"

She had called me "Robert."  Was I a "Robert?"  or a "Bunky?” 

Sometime after that flower pot watering incident, I realized that I was both a "Robert" AND a "Bunky."  "Bunky" was the usual me and "Robert" was the scolded me.  Being a “Robert” was definitely not a good thing. The "Bunky" me was absolutely the safest, but unfortunately, not always my choice.

- - - - - -

My name wasn’t just Bunky.  My nickname wasn’t just Bunky.  I was Bunky.  In the future, I would change names and they would change me (or was it the other way around?)



Robert Red-Baer

195?-Flunked 2nd grade Tinton Falls Elementary School
1962-Didn't graduate from Monmouth Regional HS, N.J.
1964-Graduated US Army NCO Acadamy, Germany
1971-Graduated University of Hawaii with honors
1973-Red Heart Follies (Hawaii)
1975-Japan Prime Minister's Award (Video), among many
1985-Professor Edogawa University, Chiba Japan
2006?-Retired in Japan